He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize