don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She tied me up with her honor cords...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize