this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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