If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
