Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
