You're a womanizer and a bitch.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
