White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
