I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
