Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
