another moral hangover. fuck.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
