Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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