I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
