So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
