I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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