My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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