I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize