Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
