while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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