i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
