My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize