I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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