worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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