He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Randomize
