guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
