lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
