Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
