Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
