Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
