i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize