he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You ruined the universe
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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