Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize