I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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