this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
