smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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