The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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