And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
