I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
