Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
