Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize