new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
