..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
