but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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