can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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