oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
