i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
