I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
