I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Randomize
