K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm just crazy horny about you
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
