; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
third nipple confirmed
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
