Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
