This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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