i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize