What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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