I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
