Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
