He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize