I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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