We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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