He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
