I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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