guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
