Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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