If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
