is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
