He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
